When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc.As for the rules themselves, I think that the rules we set for teenagers are a safety net, not a protective coating, the kids can get around them if they are determined.

teen dating tips holding hands-23

I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.

( And yes, we've been addressing the low esteem for years.)She has no experience with dating. I say I could get behind that better if he would stop commenting on her physical beauty and if she would stop gushing. When she saw him I kept my cell phone on and when they were alone for the first time and he was pressuring her for sex, she called me and I picked her up immediately. I think it's a matter of what you are comfortable with and what she wants too.

That does not mean, that if you think she is too young that you need to hide that opinion, but present it in a way that acknowledges her ability to make different decisions, and make sure it conveys your concerns about the effects her choices may have on her rather than an issue of right or wrong.

When adults approached me in this way when I was a teen, they made the most impact.

(There's a chance that he's a friend of a friend of a friend!

My mother-bear self wants to lay down the law and tell her no way in hell is she going to be dating an 18 year old who we know nothing about.I guess that is what I would most emphasize: share with her your genuine concern that she make choices that support her and tell her that to that end you will set certain rules with certain consequences, but then acknowledge her responsibility for being the one who ultimately will make these decisions. PS - Alanon might be supportive for you as the parent, even if she is not using any substances, the issues are close enough.So I must ask first: What is it that you hope to accomplish with your rules?Make sure she has condoms if she will be alone with him. Single mom of teenager Well, I don't have that much experience with this as my daughter is 15 also. This totally embarasses her and she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think she's listening.The new shot that prevents cervical cancer would be a good idea too. She's in a kinda bookish group at school, and few of her friends have ''gone out'' with guys yet. Did you or another adult chauffeur, or was it at one of the kids' homes? I give my daughter possible things to say to boys in different situations because sometimes we just can't think of the right words at the right time! anon Group dating seems to be the best idea I heard until ...maybe 18?Its a complicated situation ( late, international, cross racial adoption, early trauma,etc. I would very much appreciate just seasoned experience and practical advice .