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So yes you want men to pursue you, and if you are confident this will naturally happen, but you don’t want to intentionally get him to chase you because this is just neediness all dressed up.When you are truly confident and independent, he won’t take you for granted, he won’t vanish for days at a time, he won’t tell you he “doesn’t want a relationship” and continue treating you as girlfriend anyway – instead, he will lock it down because he’ll be too scared someone else will snatch you up if he doesn’t!
When you are so desperate for his approval and so accommodating to his schedule, then he doesn’t feel a need to step up or lock you down because…why should he?
What it really comes down to is being a woman who values herself and is confident in who she is.
When you bend over backward to please a man, you’re not really placing a high value on yourself and he doesn’t really have to do much work to land you.
When a guy has you and gets to keep you without really putting in much effort, your stock inevitably goes down in his mind.
Since Craig and I lived somewhat of a distance away (maybe about 40 minutes) I went out of my way to see him when it was convenient for him.
There were forces working against us and I didn’t want to make things worse by being unaccommodating.
When I eventually met up with Craig at the bar, the first thing he said after our friendly hellos and my apology for changing things around last minute was: “I like that you didn’t cancel on your friends.
It shows a lot about you and made me even more excited to see you.” I was off to a great start, but that didn’t last.
When your happiness is rooted in all sorts of things, not just him, you will never have to watch what you say or do for fear of coming off as needy because you will never be needy.
MORE: A Guy’s Take on Neediness I met this guy years ago, let’s call him Craig.
Intentionally manipulating a guy or playing games will always backfire because no guy wants to feel like he’s being yanked along on a destination-less journey.